


... of Love

by Witchcraftandwine



Series: Recovery of Angel Dust (a RadioDust story) [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Al cares for Angel, Alastor did a good, Angel Dust struggles with having been raped, Care giving, Comfort, Hair Washing, Hurt Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), M/M, Niffty is a good girl, Rape Recovery, Shame, Tenderness, back washing - Freeform, self blame, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:46:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22191265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witchcraftandwine/pseuds/Witchcraftandwine
Summary: Angel wakes in Alastors room, and remembers what happened...  Why can't he scrub away those hands?!
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), RadioDust
Series: Recovery of Angel Dust (a RadioDust story) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1597399
Comments: 9
Kudos: 389





	... of Love

When Angel Dust first started coming to he came to several different conclusions at once. He was not in his bed, not even his room for that matter. He didn't hurt half as much as he had when he had first gotten back. And the smell surrounding him, sinking in to his bone with each deep inhale, was the spicy smell of a radio demon.

"Al?" Slowly angle dust sat up touching his head, it ached a little still but he was pretty sure that was more from how hard he had cried and not any lingering side effect of the damn drug. Actually his head was feeling clearer then he would have expected after being doped like that, He knew Alastor had said something about healing, but did that mean he had cleaned angels system of the drug as well? Jeeze… He owed the demon big time. Shit…  
  
All this time he had managed to avoid ever owing any demon anything, particularly strong ones. The arrangement with Val had started as a partnership it had never been a deal thing, or an IOU thing. He shifted turning to slip his legs off the couch moving carefully even if he wasn't in as much pain he still felt tender and he didn't want to push his luck.

"Oh Angel, you're supposed to be resting!" He almost jumped out of his skin when Niffty spoke up popping up from behind the couch,

"Oh well, yeah I just kinda… woke up, I'm not gonna stay up I just need to grab some water and take a wiz." He muttered still half out of it allowing the thicker jersey accent of his life that, even after all this time hadn't faded, to slip past him.  
  
"ooohhhh ok well you sit there Alastor said not to much I'll grab your water then help you with-2

"No!, No… no Niffty, I can pee on my own… but a glass of water yeah if you can get that I'll go and be right here for when you get back ok?" he said, He was not an invalid he did not need the almost childish looking demon helping him PEE! The thought sent a shudder of disgust through him. He knew she was an adult, in her twenties but she just… Looked so young!  
  
Once she'd left after a bit more prompting and reassurance that he was absolutely fine, and several 'Yes I will call you if I need help's Angel dust stood and made his way to the bathroom, before anything else though he splashed his face with some cold water He still felt…. Dirty… He shuddered Annoyed by himself and disgusted as he slipped off his skirt and found his underpants where gone… Stupid Val, he couldn't remember most of it, some kind of mercy her supposed, but for a moment he just stood there staring at himself, Just grab the damn thing wiz and get back in bed… Fuck…

He sat with a grumble shaking hands holding his head, He felt so dirty…

Finishing his business he found the blood. Right, he supposed when he had started fighting before he'd lost himself in the drug… Val had hurt him. He tossed the tissue and flushed scrubbing at his hands hard in the sink it wasn't enough, forgetting Niffty forgetting Al forgetting he was actually in Alastors room and not his own he stripped and climbed in the shower turning the water on hot as he could handle and beyond, letting it scald his fuzz covered flesh, he sat curled up under the spray hugging his knees He had to get rid of the smell, the feel, Why could he still feel those stupid spindly hands on his body? He flinched grabbing his head, damn it… damn it damn it damn it.  
  
He wanted to cry and a few tears did escape him as he struggled them back. He'd be in enough trouble for not doing what he was told and showering, He didn't need anyone nagging him for crying like a little bitch either.

There was a faint knock

"Angel Dust?" it was Niffty She sounded worried. He hugged his legs tighter  
  
"Sorry Niffty, I just I was feeling kinda… achy you know from sleeping on the couch so I thought a warm shower would help. I'm sitting so I am resting." He called out to her as he looked at the faint rusty red in the water as it swirled down the drain.  
  
"Well I guess if you're sitting it's ok. Alastor was very strict about you resting, But sleeping on a couch can be bad for your joints so I guess it's ok, Just don't run it too hot." She said lightly, he could hear the faint tapping of her spindly feet as she walked away. Only noticing as he started to relax, just how tense he had been. He wasn't sure how long he stayed sitting there hugging his knees only that when he relaxed and unfolded himself a couple joints popped harshly. He grabbed a bottle of, something it was a body wash but it was a lot simpler then his, the smell was faint and… Masculine? He wasn't really sure how to describe it, and all Alastor had was a wash cloth no pumistone, no puff nothing… he chuckled, If that wasn't a tell of what different people they were… He poured some of the body wash on the cloth and started to scrub at his skin, Get it off the feeling of dirt and violation, the feeling of Val touching him. 

That was what he wanted to get rid of most.

He scrubbed. He scrubbed his skin so hard that patched went so raw and red the water hurt them, places where he knew Valentino had held him down. He scrubbed and scratched and lathered more soap, a kind of frenzied desperation over taking him, he just wanted it off, he wanted the feel of it gone Why wouldn't it go away?!

He had started to cry again at some point, but he wasn't sure when. The tears mingling in the shower spray so that all he saw was the blur of raw pink flesh of his arm as he dug the wash cloth hard into his skin.

He didn't notice the bathroom door open, didn't notice the way the light seemed to dim. Or how a show loomed just beyond the curtain bending to pick something up and fold it before turning back towards the bath. Muttering to himself as Angel Dust sat scrubbing his legs, between his thighs hands shaking in his desperation to just make it all go away, take his skin peel it off untill there was nothing left marred by-

He gasped jerking sharply when the curtain was whipped back, the soaked spider stared up at the Radio Demon with a cold sense of terror, Was he mad? Angel hadn't gone back to the couch… Any other time, any other day and Angel would have made a joke and invited Al to join him but right now all he felt was terror, confusion, and upset.

He registered after a moment that Alastor wasn't wearing his usual coat. That was odd enough but in fact the Radio Demons shirt cuffs where rolled up past his elbows and he was carrying a familiar pink basket. Angel knew what was in it because it was from his bathroom. Had Alastor grabbed his shower stuff from his bathroom?

"I don't make a habit of making mistakes, I do try to think about a situation as much as possible before I act." The demons voice was calm as he knelt next to the tub and turned off the spray of the shower the sudden chill making Angel Dust whimper.

"However, I've never been in your position. It seems leaving you alone was a bad idea, I… apologize." He seemed off, uncertain before grabbing the rubber stopper and plugging the bath running the water from the tap he slid his hand under the rush adjusting the taps until he seemed happy with the temperature and pulling back.

"A-al?" What was he doing, what did he want, wasn't he mad? Had he really just apologized? These where just a few of the myriad of questions that spiralled in his mind as the Radio Demon carefully unpacked Angels bathroom kit, studying bottles critically before setting them in an arranged order on the lip of the bathtub.

"You had a vast selection of, Bath… things, bubbles and fizz and… confetti? However when Niffty first told me you where bathing I considered you might have done this so I didn't grab them. I did however find something that should help soothe the raw skin until you heal, I'll apply it once we're done here." He said with a calm control that, that… enraged the spider  
  
"I can apply my own damn medicine, w-what are you even doing here?! Why did you go in my room?! Why are you doing this? Do you want something from me? I have fuck all to give you, I have nothing! Do you understand I… I…" his voice cracked and he slumped in the climbing water covering his face while Alastor sat there expression calm lips as always quirked in a mild smile as if, even now, he couldn't not smile.

Angel hasted this, this awful sick feeling jumping between rage and terror.

A cap popping caught his attention and he glanced up to see Alastor squeezing some of his body wash on the pink puff. Angel liked it because it smelled kind of like candy, it made him feel… sweet. Heh… It was so odd, seeing the Radio Demon holding his pink bath puff, lathering it up between his hands before he reached out and waved confusing Angel Dust about what he wanted.

"Lean forward or turn, which ever works best." He said simply. Surprised by the order Angel scooted forward and leaned, shoulders hunched nervously. Alastors touch was gentle as he washed Angels back, running the puff over his skin rubbing gently, a lot more gently then Angel Dust had been doing before... Alastor moved, passing his hand over the soapy skin after as if looking for something. Seemingly satisfied Alastor rinsed the soap off Angels back before touching his shoulder.

"Alright go ahead and lean back I'll wash your hair to." He said in that same calm tone. So Angel dust did so, He couldn't say he minded it really, when was the last time anyone had taken care of him like this. Once his hair was wet Alastor turned him so he was sitting with his back against the edge of the tub head tilted back while the Radio Demon scrubbed and massaged his scalp, Angel Dust sighed closing his eyes it felt good. That kind of nice deep feeling like when he went to a salon and they washed his hair before giving it a trim, fingers firm but not painful on his scalp rubbing his temples behind his ears down the back of his neck, Ah it was so soothing.

"You're… really good at this." Angel mumbled. This made Alastor chuckle lightly  
  
"I guess I am, Everyday for almost three months I would wash my mother's hair, She passed away when I was just a teenager, there wasn't really anything I could do, but she said my washing her hair helped make her feel better so I did it dutifully every day." Alastor explained Angel peeked and eye open surprised, Alastor didn't talk much about himself.

"I'm sorry she died when you where so young, What happened?" he asked curiously he wanted to know more about the demon but if Alastor didn't want to get into it he wouldn't push. And for a moment he thought that's what would happen as the Radio demon seemed quite and thoughtful before shrugging.  
  
"I suppose it's alright, In 1918 there was a sever flu pandemic, they called it the Spanish flu, Spain was one of the few nations that reported honestly about how bad it was, giving people the impression it was worse there than anywhere else, when the truth was it was bad everywhere and just got buried. My mother unfortunately got sick during that time. She was also suffering from a wasting disease, if it had Just been the flu she might have survived but compounded she, simply couldn't fight it." He said pausing his fingers passing slowly gently through Angel Dusts hair, though the look on his face was distant and Angel Dust stayed silent not wanting to put Alastor off.

Eventually the Radio Demon seemed to come back to himself however and helped Angel Dust lean back washing the lathered shampoo from his hair, the bathroom taking on a thick smell of strawberries and sugar. It was strangely pleasing mixed with the masculine smell of Alastors body wash. Once he was rinsed of the soap Alastor studied him a moment then made an odd noise

"I understand reservations but… well… it is pertinent that I ensure… well we… for your…" Angel looked over, Alastors face was as red as his hair as he looked away covering the lower half of his face with a damp hand.

"Al?" Angel questioned carefully red eyes flicked in his direction before Alastor let out a long breath.  
  
"Can you… kneel and lift your bottom?... I'd like to check to make sure you're not to badly hurt… or suffering any kind of infection… I should have done so earlier but I did not know and the pamphlet…." He stopped jolting the fluffy deer like ears ridged. Wait Pamphlet? Had… Alastor done some sort of… reading on how to take care of him?!  
  
"Y-yeah I can do that." He said after a moment of studying the clearly embarrassed deer demon. He shifted moving up to his knees facing the bathroom wall he leaned forward against it for support one set of hands bracing on the lip of the bathtub while the other set rested on the wall… was he shaking? Fuck… H-he was nervous, he let out a breath resting his forehead against the wall.  
  
"I'll be as quick as I can, I can't imagine you want anyone in this uh… general area right now but… well I have to…" there was something funny and sweet the way Al fumbled with his words. It was something Angel never expected of the other man.  
  
"N-no, I get it I'm grateful, I mean, just… well Just do it i-it's kinda cold." He said after a moment he was scared but, more, embarrassed. Oddly he felt safe with Al. he felt fingers carefully take hold of his bottom and flinched, Immediately Alastor let go recoiling as if burned  
  
"No no just, sorry Just get it over with please? I…" Angel Dust trailed off and he heard Alastor give a heavy exhale. Then those fingers again, except this time they were on his hips, it wasn't has bad, Angel twitched a bit but he didn't jolt with fear like he had before, then to his shock, Alastor started singing,

_"No one to talk with, All by myself, No one to walk with, But I'm happy on the shelf, Ain't misbehavin', I'm savin' my love for you~"_

Angel smiled faintly as Alastor sang, he had a good voice. Well he knew that when he'd sung with Charlie that first day but this song was softer and angel found himself tapping his finger to the beat… wait beat? Oh, the Microphone, he'd heard sound for it before, Alastor must have it playing the sound of the piano as he worked, Angel almost forgot when the red demon was doing as he carefully parted Angels backside to examine him, the music flowed and Alastor kept singing angels cheek pressed against the cool damp tile of the wall hand balled into a fist before he bit down on the claw of his thumb shaking as fingers ventured further

_"I don't stay out late, Don't care to go, I'm home about eight, Just me and my radio, Ain't misbehavin', I'm savin' my love for you~"_

The music never faltered and as the cool smooth trumpet joined the Piano and smooth tap of cymbals Alastor humming calmly along with the tune. It was so different to music Angel was used to, between the music from his own time, and the thumping beats of club music of now it was just, different, and he liked it.

True to his word Alastor worked quickly. By the time the trumpets gave a final Jazzy blast he was pulling back. Angel Dust was aware of a cool feeling of gel or cream and glanced over his shoulder at Alastor questioningly.  
  
"A mild infection was starting to set in, I've cleaned it out but the area is ahem… sensitive. I imagine some sort of parting ;gift' from Valentino. My magic isn't helping, so I've applied some medicine, it'll prevent infection and help the wounds heal quicker…" Alastor explained carefully waving a hand

"Do you want to soak a bit longer?" he asked not looking at Angel Dust. The spider demon frowned thoughtfully before shaking his head "No thanks, actually I'm feeling better, a bit already." He said softly. Alastor nodded and stood making his way across the bathroom to grab a towel as Angel pulled the stopper and just sat watching the water drain, the bubbling gurgle of water as it washed away soap.

He was about to stand and climb out when Alastor dumped the towel on him and then without a word scooped Angel Dust into his arms. Angel Squawked awkwardly in response

"A-alastor w-what the hell I can walk you…" He glanced up but Alastor was just staring at him and for some reason his complaints died on his lips. Well this once he guessed wasn't so bad. He leaned in relaxing against Als chest as the other demon carefully opened the bathroom door and carried him to the bed. No couch for him this time it seemed, He noticed a bottle on the bed side table and realized that must be the cream Al had mentioned before. 

Alastor settled him down carefully and Angel had to admit, if only mentally that he'd never felt as special as he did right at this moment, with Alastor tending him so gently. Singing to him, healing him, washing his back and…

Tears welled fresh

"I-I don't deserve this…." He started stuttering weakly on the words, "I… I… I should have know better, T-this was all my fault I know what kind of person he is I never should have trusted him I-" his voice broke Not again, he didn't want to cry again but it just kept coming.

"Angel Dust can I ask you a question." Alastor asked abruptly. Angel paused sniffing weakly sobs subsiding as he looked over  
  
"W-what?"

"Can I ask you something?" Alastor said again looking at him this time with an unreadable expression, it seemed odd but finally angel Dust nodded  
  
"Y-yeah I guess so, what is it?" 

"Do you know how Niffty died?" he asked, the question was so arbitrary, and so out of left field Angel dust stared at him

"What? No why I mean, what? No I don't." he said finally Alastor nodded and was silent a long moment before speaking again

"Niffty was in a gang in high school. She was in with a lot of bad people, and cause a fair amount of trouble I'm told." He said carefully staring off beyond Angel "When she got out of school she met a very normal man, someone who was the opposite of her in every way and who loved her a lot. And she loved him to, so she quit her gang. She left all those hard cruel guys she had ridden with so she could be with that man who gave her a reason to live and not rebel. It was difficult and those people who had been her friends for many many years turned their backs on her as soon as she was no longer what they wanted her to be." He explained Angel frowned but didn't move as Alastor pour some of the cream onto his palm and carefully began to apply it to the raw patches on angels skin. It was cold and tingled faintly but it was soothing not painful like he expected.

"Well she and that man got married and they lived a good life by all accounts. And for five years she was the happiest she had ever been, and not once did she regret her decision. She might have missed her friends but they had chosen to turn their backs on her, she had never wanted to cut them out of her life. While out one day she met a couple of her old friends and they had a good talk. She was glad they could be civil. They admitted they missed her but where glad she was happy. A gang was a family and they had done her wrong by shunning her for being happy."

"She accepted their apologies and asked about the gang leader, this guy who was hurt the most when Niffty had left, It was him turning his back on her that had caused the others to do so. They told her he missed her and would be happy to see her if she was up to it. So she agreed and told them where she was, and invited them to dinner, if they where anything like they had been in high school they were probably still living off Burgers and crap." The word was so simple but angel dust chuckled when Alastor swore. Still why was Alastor telling him all this?  
  
"She got a call from the Leader and they talked a long time on the phone, so long she was still talking with him when her husband got back from work. She was so happy to hear from her old friend and her husband was happy for her. He knew how much she had missed them and even if she wasn't in the life anymore he knew she still wanted her friends in her life. He even spoke with the man, echoing Nifftys invitation, He wanted to get to know her friends, he hadn't ever meant to make them feel they had to cut her off, he just wanted to be part of her life to. And it all seemed fine. They arranged a day, and Niffty worked hard, she made her house as clean and neat as possible. She made sure all the photos where prominent not just of her and her husband but the ones of her with her friends." He paused then looking at Angel dusts belly before getting more cream and beginning to spread it on the raw skin there, his hand working lower, he'd have to get to that part eventually he and Angel both knew it but for now he worked around it sliding his hand over hip and along smooth tender thigh.

"So the day came for this big dinner. Niffty was thrilled this was her family coming home, the people who had given her a reason to be more, Her husband helped and they laughed as they worked, she told him more stories and eagerly named her friends to him right up until the doorbell rang." Alastor paused and looked at Angel who was watching with rapt attention.

"What happened?" he asked Suitably distracted letting Alastor apply the cream to the other leg,

"Well. She opened her home to these people who had been her family for the longest time and everything seemed to be going well, they all seemed genuinely happy for her, they admired her home and complimented the life she had built for herself. They lamented losing her but they couldn't find any real fault in her husband other then he was a square. She will even now stand by the fact that most of them, most of them really where happy for her." Angel frowned most… not all.

"The leader guy?" he asked Alastor nodded

"When they had finished eating the food Niffty had prepared for them, practically a feast they sat enjoying the heavy weight of a good meal in their stomachs, and then he stood and smiled. She's never told me exactly what he said, I don't know if it's because she doesn't want to remember, or she can't. but after he spoke, he shot her husband in the face. He was still smiling she said, when she looked at him, she grabbed her dinner knife and enraged lunged at the man she'd considered a brother, and stabbed him even as he shot her when the first bullet didn't stop her, he shot her again, and again as she rained hell on him. And that’s how I found her. Souls fallen into hell together and despite her small size she was still stabbing him, over and over and over screaming and crying wildly." He said, Angel Dust made a weak noise, that was… really shitty, and if her husband really was such a nice guy he was probably in heaven.

"I dragged her off of him and let her watch as his soul began to repair itself, as we do from most fatal wounds, she was still enraged and asked me point blank if there was a way to make him suffer, so we made a deal." He said calmly finishing applying the cream to everything else he let out a breath, there was one last place where angel had been far to aggressive in his washing….  
  
"Why…. Did you tell me all of this?" Angel dust asked Alastor looked at him and leaned back

"Angel Dust, do you think it was Nifftys fault that the man killed her husband and her?" he asked flatly Angel dust scowled  
  
"No of course not she let him into her home she was trying to rebuild their friendship!" he said angrily Alastors smile widened a bit  
  
"But she knew he was a gang leader, knew just what he was capable of… but she still trusted him and let her into his home, so isn't it?" he asked seriously Angel snarled  
  
"How could you ask that when she…." He paused as it hit him, exactly why Alastor had told him Nifftys story, and why he was asking such a question.  
  
"It's….. not my fault." He said weakly looking at the Radio Demon who nodded slowly

"You're not at fault for what others do. Your only mistake was trusting him, but that trust has given you many good things hasn't it? It's let you come here and clean up. You're rebuilding a relationship with your brother. You've made new friends… Valentino took advantage of that, and that is not your fault." He said firmly before coughing uncomfortably

"This last part you'll have to uh… do yourself." He said grabbing Angel dusts hand and placing the bottle in it looking away, Angel frowned and looked down before going red Oh right that well. Angel Dust found himself laughing flopping back against the pillows and just laughing  
  
"I can do that yeah, look… Al, Thanks, a lot. I thought if you came back I'd just ask you to leave me alone, I thought I wanted to be alone but I'm glad you’re here." He said honestly. Alastor turned to look at him carefully studying the spider before inclining his head

"I am glad I could help you. Tend that and then settle you'll need more rest and when you wake We'll see about getting you to your own bed. And discuss what you wish to do next." He said calmly, Angel tilted his head confused  
  
"Next? I'm not sure what you mean It's hell Al it's not like I can go to the cops." He said reasonably, Alastor nodded then grinned. The wicked terrifying grin that sent cold fear through angel blood even though he knew it wasn't for him.  
  
"Law enforcement? Now, now don't be silly, why would you even need that when you have me. I can assure you I am far more powerful and effective." He said simply. And frankly angel didn't doubt it.

"Besides I already have him, It's really just a matter of what you want done, but no worries, he'll keep for now, it's not as if he hasn't done the same to others." Alastor said matter of factly wait had him what? Angel tried to sit up but Alastor hand a hand on his chest anticipating the movement apparently.

"Just rest for now angel really it's nothing to worry over, just focus on getting better, Charlie will worry if you're gone too long. For now all she knows it you had a touch to much to drink and stumbled into my room on accident." He said calmly. Angel blushed, Alastor had made up an excuse for him? Jeeze more and more things where piling up that angel owed him for, so he settled back putting me of the cream on his hand and covering the last of the raw skin before sighing he was feeling sleepy again, the warm shower, the crying, and maybe, just being taken care of so gently.

He felt Alastor drape the blanket from the couch over him again and maybe just maybe felt a hand brush through his hair. If Alastor kept treating him like this Angel was going to start thinking he might like him. Inside, in a secret place, he felt so warm by the idea, that Alastor would like him… not Angel Dust the Porn star, but….

Him…

As he slipped off to sleep he was almost positive he heard Alastor whisper

"Sleep well, my Angel."


End file.
